


Team Drarry

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Draco Malfoy - Freeform, DracoxHarry - Freeform, Drarry, Drunk Texting, Drunkenness, F/F, F/M, Harry Potter - Freeform, M/M, Partying, Textfic, Texting, draco - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-19 13:04:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13705032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Pansy conspires to get Draco and Harry together. Textfic!





	Team Drarry

Tuesday 7:28 A.M.   
PrettyBitch has entered the chat.  
PurebloodPrince has entered the chat.

PrettyBitch: Wut up boi.  
PurebloodPrince: For once, can you please text like a normal human being?  
PrettyBitch: Nah Bruh

7:35  
PrettyBitch:Draco? You still there?  
PurebloodPrince:   
PrettyBitch: Answer me dammit!  
PurebloodPrince: 'Nah bruh'  
PrettyBitch:  
PrettyBitch: Alright, I'll stop.  
PurebloodPrince: Now that wasn't so hard, was it?  
PrettyBitch: Fuck you.  
PrettyBitch: So what's up?  
PurebloodPrince: . . . I'm studying.  
PrettyBitch: Sure you are.  
PurebloodPrince: I am.

SlytherinBoy has entered the chat. 

SlytherinBoy: Heyo! What's up my peoples?  
PrettyBitch: Draco is studying.  
PurebloodPrince: I am!  
SlytherinBoy: Did I miss the announcement where they changed the definition of 'Studying' to 'Stalking Harry Potter'?  
PrettyBitch: Apparently we both did.  
PurebloodPrince:   
PurebloodPrince: You guys are assholes.   
PrettyBitch: So what's Potter up to?  
PurebloodPrince: . . . If you must know, he's at Quidditch Practice.  
SlytherinBoy: Oooh!  
PrettyBitch: He'll be in the bathroom for hours after this.  
PurebloodPrince: Shut up!  
SlytherinBoy: But he'll wish it was Potter and not his hand, the wanker. ;)  
PrettyBitch: 'OH POTTER! YES YES! HARDER POTTER! FUCK ME LIKE A HIPPOGRIFF POTTER!  
PurebloodPrince: I hate you guys.  
SlytherinBoy: Just imagine: Potter in the locker room. Dripping with sweat from practice.   
PrettyBitch: He takes off his shirt, revealing chiseled, rock-hard abs.  
SlytherinBoy: His pants are hanging low on his hips. You can see where his happy trail disappears beneath his pants.  
PrettyBitch: He runs his hand slowly down his chest and oh, couldn't you just lick him.   
SlytherinBoy: His hand disappears under the edge of his boxer shorts -   
PrettyBitch: The pants are coming off!

PurebloodPrince has left the chat.

SlytherinBoy: Did we go too far? lol  
PrettyBitch: Define 'too far'   
SlytherinBoy:  
PrettyBitch:  
SlytherinBoy: Wanna meet up?  
PrettyBitch: Definitely.

PrettyBitch has left the chat.  
SlytherinBoy has left the chat.  
8:03 AM  
______________________________________________________  
8:55 AM  
Weasley has entered the chat.

Weasley: I'm a magic boy, in a magic wo-orld! 

HGranger has entered the chat.

HGranger: I didn't know you were into muggle music, Ron.  
Weasley: What muggle music?   
HGranger:   
HGranger: So where's Harry?  
Weasley: He's in the shower.  
HGranger: Still? Didn't practice end half an hour ago?   
Weasley: Yeah.  
HGranger: How long does it take for him to take a shower?  
Weasley: Oh, he's probably done showering by now.  
HGranger: Done? But didn't you just say he's still in the shower??  
Weasley:   
Weasley: Hermione - you're a bit dim aren't you?  
HGranger: Excuse me? I'm at the top of our class!  
Weasley: I just meant that you're innocent minded.  
HGranger: Oh ... Why do you say that?  
Weasley: No reason. It just occurred to me, that's all. 

Scarhead has entered the chat.

HGranger: Finally.  
Scarhead: What?  
HGranger: How long does it take you to take a shower?  
Scarhead: ... That depends.  
HGranger: ?? On what? How dirty you are?  
Weasley: On wether or not Malfoy shows up to watch him practice.  
HGranger:  
Scarhead: Shut up Ron.  
HGranger: What does Malfoy have to do with Harry's showering habits?   
Scarhead:  
Weasley:  
Scarhead: Is she serious?  
Weasley: She's very pure minded.  
Scarhead: I see . . .   
HGranger: Will one of you please tell me what you're talking about?!  
Weasley: Are you sure you want to know?  
Scarhead: Ron, don't.  
HGranger: Yes. I want to know!  
Weasley: Harry was w-  
Scarhead: RON NO  
Weasley: Lol! I was joking.  
HGranger: You aren't going to tell me?  
Weasley: No. Trust me Hermione. You don't want to know about this.   
HGranger: . . . oh.  
Scarhead: What? What do you mean 'oh'?  
HGranger: Nothing.   
HGranger: Malfoy, huh?  
Weasley: yup.

Scarhead has left the chat.

Weasley: Did you really figure it out or were you bluffing?  
HGranger: I'm not as pure-minded as you seem to think I am, Ronald.  
Weasley:  
Weasley: I love you.  
HGranger: So, wanna go take a 'shower' together?  
Weasley: Seriously??  
HGranger: ;)

Weasley has left the chat.  
HGranger has left the chat.  
9:15 AM  
_____________________________________________________  
10:35  
HGranger has entered the chat.  
PrettyBitch has entered the chat.

HGranger: You were right.  
PrettyBitch: I usually am.  
PrettyBitch: About what exactly?  
HGranger: Harry. He does have a thing for Malfoy.  
PrettyBitch: THAT POOF! I TOTALLY KNEW IT! YAAS!  
HGranger:   
PrettyBitch: So what are we gonna do?  
HGranger: Do? Why do we have to do anything?   
PrettyBitch: BECAUSE! I'm tired of Draco's whiney wanker ass!   
HGranger: Is he really whiney?  
PrettyBitch: Extremely. What's Potter like when he's horny?  
HGranger:I wouldn't know.  
PrettyBitch: Oh, come on. Just be honest and say 'I'm not going to tell you'.  
HGranger: Fine. I won't tell you.   
PrettyBitch: Thanks.   
HGranger: Seriously though. I have no idea what Harry's like when he's horny and I don't want to.  
PrettyBitch: And they call me 'pansy'.   
HGranger: Really?  
PrettyBitch: Really really.   
PrettyBitch: Again I ask - what are we gonna do?  
HGranger: Nothing. They can get together on their own.  
PrettyBitch: I know, but I wanna help them get together.   
HGranger: Help them how?   
PrettyBitch: ;)

PrettyBitch has left the chat.  
HGranger has left the chat.  
11:00 AM  
___________________________________________________________  
12:54  
PrettyBitch has entered the chat

PrettyBitch: BLAISE!

SlytherinBoy has entered the chat.

SlytherinBoy: What's up Panse?  
PrettyBitch: 'Panse'?  
SlytherinBoy: You don't like it?  
PrettyBitch: No. No I don't.   
SlytherinBoy: Fine. Whatever.  
SlytherinBoy: So what's up?  
PrettyBitch: I was thinking . . .  
SlytherinBoy: A dangerous pastime.  
PrettyBitch: Get your head out of Beauty and the Beast. I wanna throw a party.  
SlytherinBoy: Cool. I'm in.  
PrettyBitch: That's what I like to hear.  
SlytherinBoy: Let me guess. You need me to supply the booze.   
PrettyBitch: Why yes! Thanks for offering!  
SlytherinBoy: Yeah, well - what's a party without drinks, right?  
PrettyBitch: *kissy-face emoji* 

SlytherinBoy has left the chat.  
PurebloodPrince has entered the chat.

PrettyBitch: There's my favorite gay boy!  
PurebloodPrince: Please don't call me that.  
PrettyBitch: Whatever Babe.  
PurebloodPrince: What do you want?  
PrettyBitch: I'm throwing a party in the dungeons tonight.  
PurebloodPrince: Since when is that anything new?  
PrettyBitch: Since I decided to invite Potter.  
PurebloodBitch: NO  
PrettyBitch: Shut your whining and put on that shirt I got you for your birthday.  
PurebloodPrince: Why that one?  
PrettyBitch: Because it's sexy and it matches your eyes.  
PurebloodPrince: Ugh.  
PrettyBitch: See you tonight! *Kisses*

PurebloodPrince has left the chat.   
Scarhead has entered the chat. 

Scarhead: Hey, Pansy. I heard you wanted to talk to me?  
PrettyBitch: Yes I do! I'm having a party tonight in the dungeons and I want you to be there. :)  
Scarhead: Why, so you can get me drunk and humiliate me in front of all your Slytherin buddies?  
PrettyBitch: As appealing as that sounds, that is not my intention.  
Scarhead: Why am I not placated?  
PrettyBitch: Because you're a suspicious arsehole.   
PrettyBitch: Malfoy is going~  
Scarhead: Have you been talking to Hermione?  
PrettyBitch:   
PrettyBitch: Maybe.   
PrettyBitch: Are you coming or not?  
Scarhead . . . Sure.  
PrettyBitch: YAAS DRARRY IS OTP!  
Scarhead: Wut?  
Scarhead: Pansy?

PrettyBitch has left the chat.  
Weasley has entered the chat.  
HGranger has entered the chat. 

Scarhead: Pansy just invited me to a party down in the dungeons tonight.  
Weasley: Don't go. It's probably a trap.  
HGranger: You should go Harry.  
Scarhead: I told her I would.  
Weasley: Harry!  
Scarhead: Wanna come with me?  
HGranger: I don't know - we have classes tomorrow.  
Weasley: That's what Hangover Cure is for. I'll come!  
Scarhead:And you Hermione?  
HGranger: I dunno-  
Scarhead: Oh, come on. You owe me!  
Weasley: What? What did she do?  
HGranger:Umm . . .  
Scarhead: Hermione told Pansy about you know what.  
Weasley: What?   
Scarhead: You know - Malfoy?  
Weasley: Oh.   
HGranger: I'm sorry Harry -  
Scarhead: So you'll come to the party?  
HGranger: Yeah.  
Scarhead: Awesome. It's in the dungeons.  
Weasley: It's being thrown by a Slytherin. Of course it's in the dungeons.

HGranger has left the chat.  
Weasley has left the chat.  
PurebloodPrince has entered the chat. 

PurebloodPrince: Potter. . .   
Scarhead: Malfoy.  
PurebloodPrince: Your username is 'Scarhead'?   
Scarhead: What of it?  
PurebloodPrince: Nothing lol. I'm just flattered that's all.   
Scarhead: Flattered?  
PurebloodPrince: Nevermind.   
PurebloodPrince: . . . Are you going to Pansy's party tonight?  
Scarhead: Yeah . . . and you?   
PurebloodPrince: Yeah. . .  
Scarhead: Cool -   
PurebloodPrince: Yeah-  
Scarhead: I guess I'll see you there then?  
PurebloodPrince: Yeah. Yes.   
Scarhead: Cool.  
PurebloodPrince: Cool.   
Scarhead:   
PurebloodPrince:

Scarhead has left the chat.  
PurebloodPrince has left the chat.   
3:37 PM  
_______________________________________________________  
9:48 PM  
HGranger has entered the chat.   
PrettyBitch has entered the chat. 

HGranger: Is this a good idea?  
PrettyBitch: Having second thoughts Granger?  
HGranger: I just don't think it's right to be meddling in Harry and Draco's business.   
PrettyBitch: Trust me. They don't mind.  
HGranger: What do you mean?  
PrettyBitch: *insert picture of Harry and Draco making out*   
HGranger:Oh.   
HGranger: Do you think they'll remember this tomorrow?  
PrettyBitch: Wether they do or not - I'm sending that picture to everyone in my contacts. Including them.  
HGranger: Well don't bother sending one to me.   
PrettyBitch: I already have, haven't I?  
HGranger: Yeah.   
PrettyBitch: Have you had anything to drink tonight?  
HGranger: No. I don't drink alcohol.  
PrettyBitch: You mean you've NEVER been drunk?  
HGranger: Nope.   
PrettyBitch: Oh honey. Mama's gonna get you hammered.

PrettyBitch has left the chat.  
HGranger has left the chat.   
9:51 PM  
_____________________________________________________________

**Author's Note:**

> I was just gonna end it there, but now I think I'm gonna take it further :)


End file.
